Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Month Of Love,The Month Of Loss

Well I guess this month will always be more than just the month of love for me,as today 4 yrs ago I went to the hospital to be with my dad for the last time.I had just left the night before so my brother could take his turn,and he called to tell us that there had been a drastic change in his condition.Well nothing prepared me for what I was going to find the next morning when I arrived at the hospital.My mom and I spent the day and then my brother's joined us for the night, our last night.It was Thursday,and everyone knows that Thursday is a good TV night,and this one was no exception.At this point I had come to terms with the fact that Dad was dying,so I didn't want to miss a minute of it,and I grabbed my cot and bunked in with him and we watched Survivor.Well I watched,but he listened or at least I like to think he did. I babbled to him just as if he was awake.I guess at that point everyone else went to the lounge to rest,but I rested in the room with dad.I couldn't leave him.He finally gave up his courageous battle with cancer shortly after 2 am with me and my mom and brothers at his side.I just can't believe how fragile life is and how it truly is over in an instant. I was left standing,thinking..........is that it? Is this all I get! Thankfully some way or another I made it through these past 4 yrs and today is actually easier than the ones before it.I sometimes find myself feeling a bit guilty that I'm not so upset now.I guess I have faced the cold hard reality that nothing I can do, or say or feel is going to change the hand I've been dealt.You have to remember what you had,instead of what you lost.

Now on to something much more cheery and bright! I took part in a LO tag at Skrap-n-Chat for the month of February. Below is my lift of the LO,and boy oh boy when all was revealed and I saw the layout that it all started with, I was shocked!!!!!! We started out with an awesome LO from Nicole.....LOL.The layouts after were awesome,but ended up looking nothing like the original. I love how they all evolved.My LO is of a friends baby.



The next is a LO I did for the Creative Scrappers 1 picture,many pages contest.We all received a photo and had to do a layout with it.It was a photo of ice shacks on the Kennebecaisis River.Thankfully I had seen them before and kinda knew what it was all about,but many ladies who participated in the contest knew nothing about them or the area. It was so great to see all of the layouts and different titles and ideas.

10 comments:

Jocelyne said...

Cute Layout Julie!

scrapbugger said...

Just popping in to let you know I"m thinking of you and then I read your post about loss...

I know the feeling Julie as we lost my Mom 2 1/2 years ago to cancer... Still have that emptiness/sadness too.

Love ya you little cucumber!!!!

Peggy said...

It's amazing how clearly the last few moments stay with you. {{HUGS}}
Don't feel guilty about not being so upset, you are remembering your Dad all the time.
You are just smoking with your LO's!

redmom said...

{{{HUGS}}} I know exactly how you're feeling, I have the same wave of emotions every year too.

You're layout is so cute, love the felt!

grover said...

{hugs}
You said it best when you said "You have to remember what you had,instead of what you lost" and your right-that is where you are with things now and that it why it gets a little easier.

Your layout is lovely..tfs :-)

Tracey said...

{{{HUGS}}} to you

Boo said...

{{{{{{Julie}}}}}}

Laura said...

{{hugs}] my friend
You'll never forget Julie but it's ok to move on. I am sure that's what your Dad would want.

Great pages too!!

love ya

nscropper said...

Hugs to you ....

Your layout is fabulous. :)

Tanya said...

thinking of you! ((huggs ))

great LO!!